Hey guys! Welcome to this month’s blog.. I’m late.. deliberately so, because, well firstly I had 5 deadlines in one week, actually a ridiculous amount the entire year, and I just got through those.. crawling.. Also, I’ll be deep within exams the entire month of May so we’re pushing back now.. Anyway, for a visual of my life update ☹ :

I planned on centring this month on hair, and I came across the image below which I found very interesting and in some ways in line with today’s chat. But it’s also interesting to think about beyond, in the context of, well, everything.

Anyway, lets goooo.. if you know the song(s)..

Don’t touch my hair,

When you see me rock it with flair

Don’t touch my crown

When it defies the laws of air

And don’t make us compare

Cz we’re all just peng black girls

Make them stare at their phones

If your skin dark, we get up and applause –

Applaud me, I’m beautiful 😍

Talking about hair, I had relaxed hair for most of my life until the day I wrote my last BGCSE exam in 2014 and thought I had to do some ‘new me’ things.. My brother was brutal, he couldn’t stop laughing at me, and I was at the hair lady 6am next morning chile. That was when I started growing out my hair naturally, and to be honest, I’ve only really started enjoying it now in lockdown because I’ve given it more attention now. I did this rice water thing by my ghel Raquel, check it out here. (I’d do it for a few days every other month when I remember). Plus I’m working more with oils, (I primarily use coconut and black castor oil, and there’s products that are a blend of the two in one bottle if you’re thinking of all purpose). The length is crazy, hair itself is softer and bouncier, and the hair colour is a really dark black. Yoh and my edges are back! Tribal braids showed me dust one time 😂

I had some interesting thoughts though, realising two divides within hair;

• Relaxed hair vs natural hair
• Short hair vs long hair

We shifted to a natural hair movement to break the subtle dynamics that used to hold us back and take away from our freedom and identity as black people. Since relaxed hair came about as a way of fitting in to the white man’s view of what good/done hair should look like, it makes sense that we’re pushing natural hair and the freedom to do and look however we want.

I’m of the belief that for most people though, once they go natural, live a silent rule that they can’t go back to relaxed hair, or maybe feel some hidden connotations in reverting or having it. It’s not an easy decision because it needs to be validated and/or justified. I think this somehow expresses an unspoken bias against relaxed hair. Society views anyone who chooses against wearing natural hair as maybe less African and conforming to Eurocentric standards, which introduces new prejudice. This kind of shows just how dynamic society is, and how power dynamics can change because years ago I think what everyone had to think twice about having was natural hair and everything else it comes with.

So, I think the thought here is that, a lot of these reactions and maybe the hyper praise of natural hair in comparison to anything else (relaxed/wigs etc) may unconsciously create a divide between women, who share in different preferences regarding how they wear their hair.

On the other hand, I’ve also noticed that relaxed and natural hair might coexist in duality, through something we do very regularly: sleeking our hair plus the fake buns babe. Almost everyone with natural hair will almost always at some point, sleek their hair or edges. It combines a sense of having almost relaxed looking hair, with the contrast of the kinky hair that you leave out. And the buns you can get off Amazon to stick onto your lil ponytail. Two worlds combined.

And two great things can exist at the same time.

Whilst we still try break the doors and restraints that hold back natural hair people, in life and work, we’re also trying to live in a world where ultimately people can do whatever they want, and that includes wearing their hair however without feeling microaggression from any end.  

I saw some tweets trending recently about how as black people, associate certain hair with special occasions, and growing up (maybe even still now), we associate straight hair with special occasions. Which can be seen I guess in how I ran to buy a wig for my first day of work cz I just wasn’t sure what reactions to expect. [They were a very cool company, and I wore it out and natural for the rest of my stay.] But, I guess, the takeaway could be, well, to continue pushing and understanding that natural hair is beautiful and always acceptable. [Take good care of it though, eish please, ska re buisa thata]

For the length aspect, I watched a natural hair video by my other girl, check it out here, and an interesting take point was when she spoke about how in the past, when she wore her hair short, she used to feel like eish, I’m not the ghel… Which I thought was interesting because I think many can relate, and, I don’t think it’s a fact that we look better with long hair than with short hair. So why don’t we recognise the existence of beauty in both at any time, and be comfortable doing both? (Yall start though, I’m never doing short again?? Thanks????)

On a sort of different note, my friend was just reminding me of how I started my A – Level programme with bright, very new mind you, red braids, and when I was asked to take them out, in not so many words I said, ‘no I jus did them, what you mean?’ And girl I kept them 🤣 A funny laugh we had into the issue of, actually, what is the need for policing of hairstyles in schools, under all these different pretences? From hair colours to hair styles, in government schools where we ‘slay’ too much for them 💀. But for private schools especially that have apparently even gone as far as banning black people’s natural hair, on their own soil..

Anyway, in the wider context of life and things, how do you recognise the duality of people, and express it in your interactions and judgements? Can a fact and opposite coexist?

And, what Solange said.

For an interesting history lesson, watch the movie Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madam C.J. Walker, to learn a bit about of history behind relaxers and the first female self-made millionaire.