Hi guys..

What an eventful month 😂 Where to start..? Everything was going grand; I’m working outdoor instructor, came back from some wholesome work one day mid-month, next morning my throat was sore.. Uhu 😭

My housemate (Bella) accepted our fate and ordered covid test kits 😂 Chile it wasn’t funny, but it was funny 🤣 When we entered the kitchen with masks on later that day we just:

Anyway, doggo, adding to my 2021 achievements that I beat COVID-19 😂 Going to sleep was funny though, like imagine if I don’t wake up 😂😂😂.. But short story:

My brain couldn’t function cz I just slept all the time, so I tried to sketch this.. It’s not great, but it’s not too horrible, I think? focus.

Anyway.. Work is interesting, and interacting with young kids in that setting took me down memory lane and musing.. I’ve always kind of embodied a multitalented nature: athletic, sport and clubs girl, ‘high performing student’, master of mischief [1], crafty, engineer – see [1]; I could go on. In learning more about myself, I realise just how important the concept of balance has always been for me, and still is.

Of course, in starting the journey of rediscovering who you are, it’s always a good start taking a look at your childhood.. As we grow up, the world tells us who we are and dictates a lot of our future direction, which can many times be misdirection. You don’t know your passions? I’m just in charge of the outfits in my life.. But who you were in your most pure essence and what you liked doing then may show where your true passions lie. It’s important to remember to be open to trying out different things to find out what you’re good at and where your interests lie. More equally very important for parents to play a role in passion development from a young age. The things kids like doing tell a tale of their most natural interests. Kids should be encouraged to try out different things and given support. If you find a child’s passion, you know which areas to focus on and cheerlead them on, so when they’re older they can more easily know their path (or already be attuned with it.)

Additionally, our talents are different, and not everyone is academically gifted. There’s so much for everyone to do, however I don’t think our education system in Botswana necessarily captures  that entirely or in the right manner. In my time in school, sciences were (still are) prioritised and respected over other subjects. It was quite sad to realise there were kids, many friends of mine, however, who got A*s for Art and/or D’n’T (Design and Technology) and did terribly in other subjects. It doesn’t say anything about their intelligence, but rather even goes to show you what can come out of passion. With the extremely harsh words often used though for the terrible grades in other subjects, I question what kind of adults the system breeds that grow up being told they’re not good enough for such reasons?

And if a teacher saw you drop the pilot on your head, or break into dance, it’s 👋🤣 There’s so much conservatism in the system, [which I recognise might be the starting point difference between private and public institutions] starting a lot with the teachers, and it really doesn’t build our ability to truly and freely express or find ourselves and our interests in our teens. I read something about a famous ballet dancer who as a child couldn’t stay still and was almost written off as disruptive, only for them to later realise she was just a dancer. And considering dance wouldn’t even naturally be considered a career to aspire to, you can see, the system doesn’t favour the fish being put left to fry on dry land.. It kills many dreams, talents and spirits.

Additionally, a lot of focus goes towards what might be the wrong things: ‘disciplining’ children, making sure girls don’t entice boys, making sure strict adherence to time and that students know their place. Students aren’t really allowed to have thoughts, and I believe there’s an inferiority complex that gets instilled into students. There’s really no focus on talent creation, really grooming children for their paths and giving them critical thinking skills or a true focus on confidence, the one thing that dooms most for life.

In a public school in Botswana, there will be at least 60 students in a class, which means no individualised learning, nor any ability to note down individual capabilities and provide the proper guidance. Of course, it also boils down to lack of resources and motivation which shows an incredibly great defect in the system and quality of education being really provided.  We could do better moving away from traditional learning towards more progressive systems of learning.

In recognising art, a real move away from STEM to STEAM, and making it important to have easy access to different types of schools encompassing the different types of talents possible, could take us a few steps to where we want to be in respecting all trades.

And lets recognise, creativity involves free expression.

Are students being built to be creative, truly, freely express themselves? In every manner? I don’t think so. Some of these strict rules are a barrier to the self-expression that encompasses creativity 🧍‍♀️ Nor do I think most teachers embody/model what an educator should be – many are very angry, and too many don’t realise and recognise the impact of hurtful words on children. I met one of my mums at GSS though, bless her soul 🥺 Some teachers though sat down and said ‘at the end of the month I’m getting my salary, le tla ipona’ and looked away 🤣 Next thing they’re cussing and it’s T for tense 🤣 I mean I get it 🤣 kids man, but in the grand scheme of things, are we really producing educators or just filling positions?  

Lastly, do we recognise learning disabilities in Botswana in the manner they should be?
Let’s bring a light to them this month:

Cute Mental Note: There was an adorable lil girl with tiny feet, the cutest most bubbly wittle thing ever, who kept asking me to hold her hand, and on the day I was leaving, she pulled me down for a hug (she’s about as tall as my knee) and screamed ‘Fifi I’m going to miss you’ 🥺 🥺 🥺 I almost wept 🥺

Hi.. wheew.. I hope you’re all good.. Personally, when Jhené said I was born tired, felt dawg..

Should’ve had this up for ‘May’ in this last week, but…I was rocking 🧍‍♀️. Anyway, in Maun they say Shekeleshekele (once upon a time) chale…

My lips stunner red
Smoke and mirror said 
Call’a medicine man 
To do all he can  

Windy, starry nights
In’a air cool n dry 
Bright beaming eyes 
Like neva seen dis high 

It’s too big, it’s too wide
Yankees cap cover psyche 
That aircraft travels light  
Zeppelin hot air flight 

It’s too strong, it won’t fit 
It’s too much, it’s too tough 
Beyoncé talk like this so I can back her up  
Sat in balloon gondolas 
Dat ascension makes it colder 
Pompasettin on de lower 
Keep your foot on da gas, 
Come down frozen glass

In case I lost you, the analogy is a hot air balloon standing in for the ego mind. But first, what is an ego? According to the Cambridge Dictionary:

Is it bad to have an ego? I don’t think so.

Ego is our own idea of ourselves as has been specified, which ties in very much with things like confidence and self-esteem. Having a healthy ego derived from one’s own innate  motivations and purpose filled desires, can drive us to achieve great things and try new ones, have/build great friendships/networks, and also stand up for ourselves. Having or building confidence (in ourselves or abilities) goes a long way to helping us get to where we should be if we use it to drive our dreams and assert ourselves.

Our ego works against us when it turns into unhealthy ego. There’s various ways in which this might manifest.

So firstly, people can probably be regarded to either be confident or arrogant.

Arrogance: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.

Arrogance is less a confidence from one’s own self and abilities but rather more about the feeling of being above others. It can however breed overconfidence, especially where there has been prolonged ego inflation. You might stop growing if you think too highly of yourself and abilities because of a belief of already being ‘perfect’/ahead of others, neither can you really connect with other people if you have little regard for them. Additionally, it will probably make certain things somewhat difficult if they threaten or go against every belief you’ve set for yourself about yourself. If your beliefs about your importance or capabilities are relative to being above people, it might make it hard to tolerate anyone seen as the ‘inferior’ getting the win or validation you believe you always deserve. The detriment in it I believe is if your life centres on proving this superiority, and if the ways you take to do it negatively impact yourself and make you behave in mean ways to intentionally attempt to depreciate others.  

A central thing might be the human need to categorise people and regard different groups differently. Age, gender, social class, etc all play a role if one sees themselves as superior and other groups as inferior. For example, we see the obsession men have with humbling women they consider powerful, to try and prove their superiority as men. In workplace dynamics, some bosses bully subordinates because they see them doing a better job and they’ll do so to make them feel less to soothe their own egos. This again shows how some people become detrimental when they see others winning or doing a better job than them. This also includes men who are unable to take rejection from women and go on to insult or discredit them (usually) for the world to watch. There’s so many other things that could be said, but you get the gist.

However, how can we objectively say who is arrogant and who isn’t? After all, we experience people differently. In “arrogant” people’s defence, the title is heavily weighted on how other people perceive them. Unfortunately, this leave’s room for people to be misunderstood. So maybe there isn’t a science behind it. However, a person’s repeated actions may be telling of their character! And if those actions are consistent with that of an arrogant person’s, then..👀

On the other hand, an unhealthy ego also manifests in an inability to take criticism.

Could be as simple as not being able to take constructive criticism – but how will you grow? Or maybe you feel (too much) the rejection from job applications since we’re in that stage that’s crippling many. The point is, it still doesn’t denounce your importance in this world. You are talented and very able, believe in yourself and go out there, I’m rooting for you 🤍.

Other times though, some things are destructive criticism or people just being ass’s. Encountering such people always makes it easy to fall into a trap because of your ego, to try and prove you/your work are important and worthy of respect. Whilst I’ve said before that we teach people how to treat us and respect us, sometimes, they’re not actually trying to learn or be accountable. Actually, they might even insult or mock you further because being upset/bothered by them only inflates their egos some more and ‘confirms’ to them they indeed have ‘power’. If you’re on Twitter, you might have seen Rea Gopane’s v Bonang Matheba recently.

Obviously, it’s not everything that can be sorted out in court. It’s not everyone who’ll simply listen, and we’re old as well, so you can’t take matters into your own hands. Therefore, sometimes you have to get comfortable with being questioned or belittled (if that is all that’s left), and let your healthy ego keep reminding you of your power. Separate yourself and just be. (But remember when you let sh*t slide, people start to skate, do what you must w that 🤍)

Let belittling words only ever push you higher and only work as a source of motivation 💪

This article I’ve linked explains in more detail the difference between healthy and unhealthy ego.

EGO STATES

Apparently we have three main ego states we operate from: Parent, Adult and Child Ego State.

That’s it from me. It’s summer, let the draaanks flow!