Hi.. ikyk I hope you’re doing great.

This month is storytelling: I’ll be combining fiction and poetry to tell a story(ies) about abuse. Here goes..

A tale

All she saw was a vast darkness, accompanied by nothing but a deadly silence.. then a light slowly glimmered, and peaked into her vision. She opened her eyes. When did she fall asleep? He walked in and passed her lying there on the floor, a sly smile on his face, almost as if, he knew, whilst she slowly tried to make sense of everything. She could hear the echo of his voice in her head, was it hi, he said? The telly blasted behind all the confusion, and with all that noise blaring it was a wonder how the madam hadn’t yet come down. She noticed her food was still sat there. Before she knew it, he was back. Her eyes went to his hand and flickered, twice, in even greater confusion.

Moments later, he was gone, and all that followed were the piercing screams, enough to jolt her back to life.

Of course, she did many things in the time before she saw the fate – a gruesome fate. In the end, she couldn’t believe what her eyes had seen; it was etched on her mind for good.

;

Lesley,

Why are you ashamed of being human? 
Of emotions fleeting up and down with the moon-ment? 

Sky dressed in black when the doom hits. 
A skirt yanked, ski-mask, primal goon blitz. 

Ruin subsides, arise, now a new pain. 
Go on home, but there’s more to it than you’d think. 

Loud screams née shouts, why, it’s a new thing? 
Neighbours hear a sound, they wanna move place. 

A drop, then two, Red Sea was tuned in
Concrete floor in cue, bashed in till Tuesday

A heart’s demise, walked in on two legs. 
Never knew sunshine, eclipse that drew flame. 

Open thy eyes, it’s lovely new days
But peace not thou, forever, always gloom in; 

Letter 2 Lesley

Life is such a paradox.

Some people are fortunate enough to experience a life full of love, support and abundance. For others, it might come in bouts of various traumas. That kinda sounds like Meredith Grey 😅

Before we dissect that statement, I want to us to have a moment for abuse survivors particularly, and their pain.

Abuse is tragic, and a very vulnerable and devastating state to be in. I don’t see why anyone should still need educating on any form of abuse in this 2021, I won’t do it 😂 but many people experience a form of abuse in family, relationships, friendships, work etc and don’t speak about it, for various fairly obvious reasons. They can all say the same thing though: most of it never really goes away.

Abusers thrive off the silence of their victims, that they’re almost certainly getting away with it, or something.

In the politest words I can muster:

F*ck abusers, f*ck their friends, f*ck apologists and anyone that supports them with confidence, f*ck women who create/uphold abusive situations for other women, and those who find humour in abuse of others.

And f*ck the communities that witness and still make space for such people and behaviours!

Now, back to the statement.

In societal terms, everyone has the same 24 hours and access to a possibility of success. An equal and similar path to joy and success for us all: a myth. Malcom Gladwell said a person’s success has a lot more to do with their environment than it has to do with anything, and I believe that more than anything in this world.

I know there’s Lesley’s out there facing one thing after another yet still feeling pressure from self and society to achieve.

Your trauma is valid, and it’s yours, and you don’t deserve it. It takes a lot of energy just to get through hardship of any kind. I can’t say you’ll catch up, or that one day you’ll have it all.. I can say, you just need to remember not to be so hard on yourself if you feel stuck in what you’re going through or like you aren’t doing much/well with your life. With all you’ve been through, just breathing might be a blessing, a silent gratefulness for life.

No one carries the burden of your experiences; you don’t have to compare.

Peace and healing to you 🤍 Might be morbid, but you’re growing into an orchid 🌺

Muse: Lesley – Dave feat. Ruelle