Heyyy! Welcome ☀️

We’ve been celebrating Libra szn this month; Ma‘rockstar, di’pyetla, chipi blynd, all you can eat buffet ntwana 😍

I’m sorry, it’s that Air sign supremacy 🤌

I have my own 25 lessons by 25 at the very end of this blog, but I’ll be showing you this month’s art and illustrating a concept first before getting into the grove of things.

Lessons

Did you know personality traits are transferrable through DNA? This means a lot of some of our traits, and some of the traits of our family members, were passed down from the generations before us, and them. This results in what is commonly known as generational patterns. The way to show love to those coming after us it to break these patterns, and we do this through learning and feedbacking.

We go through life, experience different things, and learn different lessons, which might be the essence of life; the journey of learning and unlearning, as my best friend always says.

However, avoiding a lesson only keeps you in a loop until you take responsibility for your learning and unlearning. 

In behavioural terms, a behavioural feedback loop would mean knowing certain information about our behaviours/personality causes a repetition or avoidance of such behaviour.

In computer programming language,

• A While statement checks the condition first before executing the code.
• A Do While statement on the other hand executes a set of instructions (code) first and then checks if it is true or false.
• What kind of loop runs the decision making in your life? Do you think before you act, or act then only think about how something aligns with you later? I’ll leave you with that.

A Do While statement is also dangerous because it can produce an infinite loop, meaning the code never stops running, unless stopped by some external means.

Humans are similarly also data analysing organisms, and in real life, it’s also easy to get stuck in infinite loops that harm us, from actions and behaviours we may engage in, as well as emotions we may get fixated on. Getting stuck may not mean the condition is truly good for us, but can be, just a bug; addictions and strongholds, attachments, insecurities, you name it. Many things could keep us rooted in places or things that don’t serve us anymore. however, seeing the loop and taking time to work on it, is what matters in the end.

The journey of learning and unlearning.

25 lessons by 25 

1. Worst thing to be in this world is to be a woman, and black.
2. Everything happens for a reason, even the tragedies. Time reveals all.  
3. Humans are the real pandemic.
4. With passing years and/or adversities, you’ll grow and gain more confident and content with yourself. Don’t give up on yourself yet, your light is waiting to shine. 
5. God 🙌.
6. You are not what anyone says you are, you are who you say you are. 
7. Every emotion you’ll ever feel is only human; never be ashamed for being human. And, feelings don’t always translate to what’s reality.
8. You will be gaslit a lot throughout life, as a woman, as a black person, and in many other spaces you may not expect it. Fight for yourself. 
9. If there’s anything that will get you places in life, it is confidence. Work on it. And when it’s lacking, my good sis Rihanna said it best, pretend. Fake it till you make it.
10. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Be you, do you.
11. You only lose the shots you don’t take. Take the risk, or lose the chance. Don’t let imposter syndrome hold you back.
12. Girls support girls.
13. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. 
14. Pay attention to the words you affirm over yourself and life. All religions and forms of spirituality (or the universe) have a central belief in a power of some sort; whatever it is, it is listening, as well as your dummy subconscious that’ll fulfil the prophecy. You’re always manifesting.
15. Never stop fighting for what’s right, even if it means standing alone. Remember, you’re never alone, especially for a just cause. 
16. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
17. Grief is a long process to go through. And even when you think it’s gone, it will find you on random days; it always remains. Like they say, evidence of an undying love. 
18. Speak. Speak, say what you want my love, and speak. The world is waiting to hear your voice.
19. Different strokes for different folks.
20. There’s a lot of pressure to have it together in your 20s. Breathe. Everyone older you meet will tell you still have so much ahead of you; you will get there in time. Breathe.
21. You have yourself for this lifetime. Ride hard for you. love you, respect you, and know your value in every space you enter. 
22. It’s a game, and every next level is harder as we enter different levels of life. 
23. Don’t put your life on hold or live it for the approval of men, they will choose themselves anyway. Patriarchy has far reaching roots and effects, and it won’t likely be away in our lifetime. Stand up for you, and other women.
24. Don’t just exist, live. Life proves to us every day how fragile and fleeting it is, it all won’t matter in the end, success or survival: live.
25. You’ll be alright 🤍 If it’s not alright, then it’s not the end yet, I promise you 🤞

As always, thank you so much for reading!

Hi.. ikyk I hope you’re doing great.

This month is storytelling: I’ll be combining fiction and poetry to tell a story(ies) about abuse. Here goes..

A tale

All she saw was a vast darkness, accompanied by nothing but a deadly silence.. then a light slowly glimmered, and peaked into her vision. She opened her eyes. When did she fall asleep? He walked in and passed her lying there on the floor, a sly smile on his face, almost as if, he knew, whilst she slowly tried to make sense of everything. She could hear the echo of his voice in her head, was it hi, he said? The telly blasted behind all the confusion, and with all that noise blaring it was a wonder how the madam hadn’t yet come down. She noticed her food was still sat there. Before she knew it, he was back. Her eyes went to his hand and flickered, twice, in even greater confusion.

Moments later, he was gone, and all that followed were the piercing screams, enough to jolt her back to life.

Of course, she did many things in the time before she saw the fate – a gruesome fate. In the end, she couldn’t believe what her eyes had seen; it was etched on her mind for good.

;

Lesley,

Why are you ashamed of being human? 
Of emotions fleeting up and down with the moon-ment? 

Sky dressed in black when the doom hits. 
A skirt yanked, ski-mask, primal goon blitz. 

Ruin subsides, arise, now a new pain. 
Go on home, but there’s more to it than you’d think. 

Loud screams née shouts, why, it’s a new thing? 
Neighbours hear a sound, they wanna move place. 

A drop, then two, Red Sea was tuned in
Concrete floor in cue, bashed in till Tuesday

A heart’s demise, walked in on two legs. 
Never knew sunshine, eclipse that drew flame. 

Open thy eyes, it’s lovely new days
But peace not thou, forever, always gloom in; 

Letter 2 Lesley

Life is such a paradox.

Some people are fortunate enough to experience a life full of love, support and abundance. For others, it might come in bouts of various traumas. That kinda sounds like Meredith Grey 😅

Before we dissect that statement, I want to us to have a moment for abuse survivors particularly, and their pain.

Abuse is tragic, and a very vulnerable and devastating state to be in. I don’t see why anyone should still need educating on any form of abuse in this 2021, I won’t do it 😂 but many people experience a form of abuse in family, relationships, friendships, work etc and don’t speak about it, for various fairly obvious reasons. They can all say the same thing though: most of it never really goes away.

Abusers thrive off the silence of their victims, that they’re almost certainly getting away with it, or something.

In the politest words I can muster:

F*ck abusers, f*ck their friends, f*ck apologists and anyone that supports them with confidence, f*ck women who create/uphold abusive situations for other women, and those who find humour in abuse of others.

And f*ck the communities that witness and still make space for such people and behaviours!

Now, back to the statement.

In societal terms, everyone has the same 24 hours and access to a possibility of success. An equal and similar path to joy and success for us all: a myth. Malcom Gladwell said a person’s success has a lot more to do with their environment than it has to do with anything, and I believe that more than anything in this world.

I know there’s Lesley’s out there facing one thing after another yet still feeling pressure from self and society to achieve.

Your trauma is valid, and it’s yours, and you don’t deserve it. It takes a lot of energy just to get through hardship of any kind. I can’t say you’ll catch up, or that one day you’ll have it all.. I can say, you just need to remember not to be so hard on yourself if you feel stuck in what you’re going through or like you aren’t doing much/well with your life. With all you’ve been through, just breathing might be a blessing, a silent gratefulness for life.

No one carries the burden of your experiences; you don’t have to compare.

Peace and healing to you 🤍 Might be morbid, but you’re growing into an orchid 🌺

Muse: Lesley – Dave feat. Ruelle